Friends

It's been a hard week for me. My "best bud" packed up and left yesterday to move across the country

Our friendship started 18 years ago: Her husband taught at the Christian School where I was hired when my husband and I first moved to NJ. At an early teacher's convention, he and I were relaxing and playing cards with other teachers; simple thing -- but that lead to us getting together as couples for card nights. As we were young and childless, these were pretty frequent if I remember!

When my first child was born, Terri was my first visitor in the hospital. When my little one was about 6 months old, we shared a beach house in NC with them and another couple. She was in the early stages of her first pregnancy (and oh so miserable!) Her first and my second child were born only 3 months apart. It was during those "Mommy Years" that Terri and I really grew in our friendship. We spent hours together: We shared Bible studies at church, play dates in my backyard with my 36 inch collapsible pool, trips to the mall, free days at a local lake (neither of us had much money), beach days.

People frequently thought the kids were brother and sisters. One of our funniest stories was the day we all went to the boardwalk together. Terri and I took my 3 year old to the ladies room, leaving my husband with the two little ones in a double stroller. A lady walked up and cooed over the kids and said to my husband, "Oh they are so cute! Are they twins?" My husband replied,"No, they are three months apart." When the lady looked at him quizzically, he said "They have different mothers." She looked a bit shocked and walked away in a bit of a huff, and only then did my husband realize what she had thought of him!

When my third child was born and I had 3 children under the age of 5, Terri was my extra set of hands. She was praying for a 2nd child, but it just wasn't happening.

Over the next few years, our children played, grew and went to school together. We laughed, solved all the world's problems, and most importantly, we prayed together. We made a regular habit of praying -- sometimes with others in a group, but often just the two of us. I often picked all the kids up from school and went over to her house -- while the kids played, we prayed.

When my "baby" was 4, she found out she was pregnant. "Shashi" was born and we shifted back into the baby stage. When Shashi started talking, I was "Mommy Sue" to her. And when "Shashi" was 15 months old, baby brother "Pappy" was born. Now Terri was the one with two small children so close in age.

Not long after her 3rd was born, my son went into first grade and I went back to teaching full time. A new chapter started for me, one that did not allow much time for play dates and Mommy time. The good thing though, was that although I didn't spend as much time with her, our families stayed connected: I started working again with her husband, and spending lots of time with her oldest son -- as his teacher! Sometimes it was hard to find the line between the "friend" relationship and "teacher / parent" relationship, but I feel like we weathered that one well. I could be her eyes in the hall watching out for her son. She became a confidant for my daughters as dealt with Middle School turbulence. I love that my daughters can go to her for advice because I know she shares my values. While our personalities are like night and day (maybe that's why we had such fun together), our values for our families and passion for Jesus have been much the same.

When I learned at the end of May that her husband was resigning and taking a new position in Utah, my heart broke. I know this is a good change for them as they will be living with her parents for a time and then getting a house of their own very close to her parents and sister. It will be so good for the kids to be near their grandparents; so good for Terri to be near her family; so good for Jim to start fresh in a new school.

But they are leaving behind big, big holes here. Their family was a part of my family -- we share church memories, school memories, and our kids share so many childhood memories.

I know we will stay connected (thanks to technology); We are already planning a vacation out west some day. And because they have so many friends and family in this area, I know they will be back to visit. But it won't be the same. I am going to miss them.